No one likes to be bored, but it’s almost inevitable during this time of social distancing and self-quaratine. John D. Eastwood, co-author of Out of My Skull: The Psychology of Boredom, explains some things that we know about boredom, how to address it—and even what we can gain from it.
We have been here before. During the SARS outbreak of 2003, upwards of 23,000 people in the Greater Toronto Area were quarantined. Housebound, they were not allowed visitors or excursions into the community—even asked to restrict dog walks to their backyard. Health care workers like Michelle Greiver were placed on “work” quarantine; allowed to leave their home only to attend to the most ill, but then straight back home again. In her “SARS diary” she lamented: “The hardest thing is not being able to touch anyone. I can’t kiss my kids good night, no hugging…I have to sleep in the basement. It feels as if I’m at a medical conference, and unwisely chose to stay at a cheap motel.”
To make matters worse, isolation often goes hand in hand with the strain of monotony. The Norwegian-built ship Belgica was the first to overwinter in the Antarctic during its epic 1898 voyage. Despite facing numerous challenges, Frederick Cook, the onboard doctor, was particularly struck by the problem of isolation and monotony. “We are imprisoned in an endless sea of ice, and find our horizon monotonous. We have told all the tales, real and imaginative…time weighs heavily upon us as the darkness slowly advances,” was his grim description. Allegedly, one crewmember was so fed up he jumped ship proclaiming that he was going to walk home to Belgium across the ice!
The combination of isolation and monotony is a hotbed for numerous psychological challenges, including boredom. In one study 62% of people quarantined during the SARS crisis reported experiencing boredom. In another, boredom was reported to be the greatest emotional impediment to complying with quarantine. Just like the Belgica crewman, some people just can’t take it and put themselves and others at risk.
What do we know about boredom that could help during this difficult time?
Stay calm. Boredom is such an unpleasant feeling that in laboratory settings some people resort to shocking themselves with electrical current! In real life, overeating is a frequent response as we reach for yet another potato chip. We don’t like feeling bored! But disagreeable feelings, like boredom, are normal and serve a purpose. Feelings help us meet our needs and keep us oriented toward what matters. For example, anger may signal that we are being taken advantage of, and fear tells us when we are in danger. Boredom tells us when we are at risk of stagnation. So despite being an uncomfortable feeling, we are the better for it. The challenge is to respond wisely. Don’t get worked up. Boredom doesn’t indicate a character flaw or poor planning—it’s a part of life, especially life under quarantine.
Be the author of your life. Typically, we’re propped up by routines. We rush to the 6:44 train, marching orders wait in our stuffed inbox, the kids have hockey tonight. In quarantine all that changes. We are used to outsourcing the control of our attention and time. In quarantine, we may realize that we’re actually not that good at deciding what to do.
It takes time to transition so be gentle with yourself and others. It’s worth it. We know that people who feel as if they are calling the shots and authoring their lives experience less boredom and are healthier in the long run.
Know that boredom is not an absence of things to do. Giving the bored person a laundry list of things to do is like telling a drowning person to swim to shore—if they could, they would. The problem is that when bored you can’t muster up an actionable desire or find value in the available options. So boredom is born of disordered wanting and valuing, not an absence of possibility.
The trick is figuring out what you want to do. This might require a moment of self-reflection on what matters most to you. Try journaling. Reflecting on the value of quarantine itself might help. Having a good reason for doing something makes it less boring. What’s your reason for going into isolation? “Why” is a powerful question to guide you through boredom and life more generally.
Avoid passive entertainment. Initially, catching up on TV shows can seem like a great plan. But treating yourself like an empty vessel to fill likely makes you ripe for future boredom. What you most need is to reclaim authorship of your life. Tragically, we often do the precise opposite; again outsourcing a solution. Resist the urge to find the quickest anaesthetic offering remedy without cure. When bored, the key is to find activities that flow from, and give expression to, your passions, creativity, and curiosity.
Maintain social connection. An absence of human contact makes isolation and monotony even more unbearable. Research has shown that people are more likely to be bored when alone, compared to when with others. In quarantine, direct human contact might be curtailed, but online connection can help beat back boredom. Skype with a friend you haven’t seen for years. Play an online game with others. Social distancing does not have to mean an absence of social connection.
Some will face more intense difficulties than others. Those among us who are socially and financially disadvantaged will be hit particularly hard, and we should not lose sight of that fact. But perhaps something more than a flattened infection curve can come out of quarantine. Potentially boring situations—that we learn to navigate without becoming bored—are rewarding because they create a space to explore who we are and what we value.
We’ve been here before. We got through it then, and we’ll get through it this time, too. The ice will break and we’ll enjoy smooth sailing, maybe even with a clearer sense of what really matters.
